Foreigners and Pets

I am an animal person, kind of. I love visiting my boyfriend's family's farm, where I can help tend to the sheep or play with the two mouser cats (who are good at their jobs, sometimes too good: "Here's a dead shrew for you! I put it in your bed!") or just sit and watch the birds at the feeder outside the kitchen window. When my boyfriend and I get proper jobs and a proper apartment, getting a Norwegian forest cat or a bunny (or both) is at the top of the list.

Blåtand and Björn, the dread mousers of Johannisberg.

Note the conditions in that last sentence: proper jobs. A proper apartment. Getting settled into a stable, adult life. Taking care of another living, sentient creature is a pretty significant responsibility, and not one to be taken haphazardly.

A trend I've seen a lot among hagwon teachers (and, I hate to make gender-based generalizations, but it seems to be among a certain breed of maladjusted and neurotic female teachers) is to get a pet, whether it's a hedgehog from LotteMart or the neighborhood feral cat. Inevitably, the time comes when they have to leave Korea for good, and so the last few months of their stay is a mad scramble to find someone to either adopt the animal from them or to help them shuttle the creature back to the US. Two posts (by the same person) that appeared in the Uijeongbu Facebook group yesterday:

I am looking for a permanent or foster home for a kitten I found the other day. It is pretty urgent as I am leaving Korea very soon and have three cats that I am taking with me already. Please consider this loving baby.

Is anyone flying to Illinois (O’Hare or Midway Airports) anywhere between July and September? I ask because I would like for someone to take one of my cats in cabin with them and then my family would pick the cat up at either one of those airports. I will pay all of the airline fees, health certificate and anything else related to the cat. I would like to know what airline you will be flying so that I can figure out how much they charge, I honestly cannot afford anything over 250$ (just for the cats “ticket”, not including other charges). I am asking this because while I have been here in Korea I have rescued numerous cats and ended up keeping three, when I fly back I am taking two (together) in cargo but I would like the third to go ahead of us just to make it easier on me and the others . I will pay a small sum (all of my money now will be going to getting all the cats home) to whoever decided to take the kitty with them. 

Look, I don't care how much you love cats, do the animal and yourself a favor and don't fucking take one in if you know you're making a transpacific move in the near future. Animals aren't just some cute animated fluffballs that live to cheer up your day. They can experience pain, confusion, distress, and everything about changing owners or going on a long haul flight involves at least two of those three. It's the height of selfishness to take an animal into such a highly transient home just because it makes you feel good.

If the neighborhood feral cat breaks your heart, fine. Take it to a shelter. Pay for its shots and neutering. But deciding to adopt it yourself belies an incredible amount of immaturity; an inability to think in terms of the long term; an assumption that the other people around you will step in and help you clean up your mess. In other words: it's fucking stupid. And cruel to boot. A classic case of exactly how the road to hell is paved.

I guess I'm inadvertently signal-boosting this request, so if you can help this girl out, let me know and I'll give you the details in private.

A Thousand Times Yes

Since I can't comment over at Scroozle's post on "Why Stay in Korea?", a quick hit and run post here:

This is one of the things my family in Canada doesn't often think about. Chumming around with an international crowd opens a whole new perspective on things. Attending events or meet-ups means getting together with a hodgepodge crowd of different nationalities. Being part of an expat community is something “regular” folks don’t take into consideration, and it’s empowering in a sense. Traveling back to one’s native land all of a sudden you encounter people who have never ventured outside the confines of their culture and have no interest in doing so. It’s a little dull once you’ve lived the other life.

I had this same reaction when I went back home after my first contract in Korea: the peer group I used to hang out with seemed different, somehow. Less glamorous, less exciting. That transformation was really bizarre, and it's one of the reasons I know that I can never permanently live in the States. It's not really fault of their own, and I still like my peer group back home in the Valley...I just know I could never permanently settle in that location or with that crowd. And I'm sure they were tired of my stories of: "One time in Korea..."

Does anyone else know/understand what Scroozle and I are talking about?

How to Be a Great Teacher

I'm editing a document for my boss at the moment. It's a speech her son wrote for the high school English speech contest, about how to be a good teacher. His points are:

1. Be funny.
2. Put effort into class preparations.
3. Demonstrate your expertise (ie actually know what you're talking about).

Thinking back to my CELTA days, we had to rank a certain number of teacher characteristics from most important to least important. Then we compared our list to a list generated by CELTA students (though I wasn't sure if it was every CELTA student ever, or just ones that had studied at the Institut Britannico). Kindness was the top one, but unfortunately I can't remember the other two. I do remember, however, that I ranked "demonstrates considerable knowledge of the subject they're teaching" (or whatever) pretty high, and that was down near the bottom of the list compiled by the students. That baffled me: I don't care about nice if one teacher is a bitch who has her shit together and another is a nice guy who doesn't know what the hell's going on. This may be why my favorite teachers were almost always the ones who were universally loathed for being boring or mean: I could recognize that they knew what they were talking about. Likewise, if it was clear to me you didn't have your act together or had some serious intellectual honesty/cognitive dissonance issues, I don't care a jot if you're nice or mean or the Queen of England.

Or, as this anonymous Korean high school author put it:

That is to say, as teachers are people who give us information we didn’t know, providing more thorough explanations and showing that they are fully ready to teach us can make the students admire them.

It's interesting to see how similar my answers are to his, and how different ours are from the CELTA list.

What do you think makes a great teacher?

Teaching Outfit Two

(Crossposted from my jewelry blog.)

I think it's time for another Polyvore Post! Another outfit I wear a lot:

Teaching Outfit Two by kokoba

What's the same:

• The white tank top is absolutely identical.
• The shape of the frames.
• The shape of the stone in the bolo tie (30 mm x 40 mm cabochon).
• The shade of blue in the t-shirt.
• The color of the cardigan.
• The watch,

What's different:

• The corduroys actually have a faint and faided paisley pattern in orange and olive green. All of the paisley corduroy pants on the Internet you can share on Polyvore are hideous, while the ones that look exactly the same can't be shared. D'oh!
• My shoes aren't actually Pumas, and they are very light brown in some spots.
• The blue shirt is a Ben Folds concert t-shirt, but again: all of the ones I could find online were either completely different-looking, or unable to share on Polyvore. Mine actually has "Ben Folds" written on the front in yellow cursive text.
• The shape of the cardigan. I never button mine up, and it only has three buttons at the bottom, anyway. Honestly, I think they're mostly just decoration. Also, it has pockets.
• The glasses frames are green and brown in color, not black.
• The stone in the bolo isn't tiger eye, but rather a very green unakite. It looks like this:

What did you wear today?

Teaching Outfit One

(Repeat content from my other jewelry and Etsy blog, because it's actually relevant to the stuff here, too.)

Because I'm too lazy to do any fashion self-portraiture, and because I'm already in my PJs, here's a Polyvore collection of what I wore today. This is an outfit I probably wear once a week, at least. (I packed pretty light coming over to Korea, so I repeat my outfits a lot.)

Teaching Outfit One by kokoba

What's the same:

• The cut and color of the gaucho trousers.
• The color of the sneakers.
• The shape of the cardigan.
• The shape of the watch face and the mechanics of the cuff.
• The t-shirt is the same shade of yellow.

What's different:

• My glasses aren't sunglasses, of course, but Polyvore doesn't seem to understand the sheer cuteness of regular glasses so there you have it. They're also greener in the frames.
• The cardigan I have is far more drab green than bright forest green.
• My trousers are ankle-length. They also have an elastic waistband, without buttons or fasteners.
• My shoes aren't Pumas.
• My bolo tie is a piece of unakite my boss' husband set for me, but again—difficult to find bolo ties on Polyvore! The color family is close, though.
• Instead of the adorable peanut butter and jelly hug graphic, my t-shirt (a discount find at BangBang) has a brown print of a camera and some random Engrishee text.

I think I might make this kind of post a regular deal. What people wear is interesting, right? I think it is, at least. Also I like the challenge of trying to match items on Polyvore to the items in my wardrobe.

What did you wear today?

Visa Notes AND a CHALLENGE!

I am in the midst of getting my E-2 sorted for re-entry into the ROK. Everything was going swimmingly (if at that sleepy pace one is accustomed to when dealing with bureaucracies) until today.

Visa issuance number, passport, and photo in hand, I went wide-eyed to the consulate general in NYC, eager for the piece of paper in my passport that would unlock the doors of the world—or at least of the Land of the Morning Calm. Finally! I thought to myself. No more waiting! No more nail-biting! I can get my ticket and finish my packing and maybe make some last-minute visits!

All of those hopes and dreams were dashed in one fell swoop after I pushed my papers through the little document slot. In one simple word.

"Transcript?" the ajumma behind the window asked me, in a thick Korean accent.

Transcript.

"I was told I didn't need it," I stammered, which was the truth. I had asked multiple recruiters if I still needed a transcript and they assured me that with the new E-2 rules, I didn't. That the apostille-certified copy of my diploma would suffice.

"No, no. No more interviews. Just transcripts now." To her credit, the ajumma dealing with me went to work clipping and gluing my photo and was generally patient and as helpful as she could be. She confirmed my visa issuance number and told me that I could leave everything there, and they would grant the visa if I could fax them my transcript, and that everything would be ready a full 24 hours after they received the transcript.

I canceled the afternoon appointment I had made with a friend so I could get back home in time to fax off transcript request forms and make some calls before offices closed at 4 pm. And as I pushed buttons through the consulate's phone tree, the recorded message informed me that I did indeed need my transcript.

Oh. Great.

Only I had never bothered calling the consulate directly before then because everything I could find on the website seemed to point to only needing money and a photo. I've decided to do something productive and potentially helpful with my rage and frustration and embarrassment, and as such here is an incomplete collection of notes that I would have found very useful 24 hours ago.

VISA NOTES

• You no longer need your transcripts to acquire the visa issuance number, but apparently you do need a copy to actually acquire the physical visa itself. What you no longer need is an interview. (NB maybe you can circumvent this by bringing your diploma with you, if what they're after is proof of your education. I might try this tomorrow.)
  
  
• Special note to those of you serviced by the consulate in NYC (which would be: the commonwealth of Pennsylvania and the states of Connecticut, New Jersey, New York, and Delaware): there are two locations in NYC, one near the UN and one on Park Avenue. The office at Park Avenue is the one that handles the visa processing. (I made this mistake the first time I applied for the E-2.)
  
  
• I've seen some recruiters list letters of recommendation as necessary paperwork. Neither time have I needed those, and my guess is that they are for the schools and not for the Ministry of Justice (which handles visa applications).
  
  
• The consulate in NYC will accept transcripts from universities by fax, so fortunately that cuts down on mailing time and costs if you find yourself in a bind like me. No word on if they accept the transcripts by fax from you.
  
  
• If you have to leave your passport at the consulate, you may enlist the help of a trusted assistant to pick it up (in lieu of shelling out the money for a courier, or risking your passport in the mail). So long as they have the receipt issued to you upon the deposit of your passport, the consulate will give it to them.
  
  
• If you need to call the consulate for any reason, you will default to a phone tree. But as of this writing (June 2011), the "press 0 to get a human" trick still works on their phone system. You'll probably get connected to someone who doesn't speak English well, but they will connect you to someone a bit more capable in the language.
  
  
• The fee is $45 (at least for the E-2, I saw other numbers floating around the website).

THE CHALLENGE

Had I been thorough in my planning, I would have called the number listed on the site and found out through the phone tree that I still needed a copy of my transcript. (I would have Googled, too, but a post-visit Google search was fruitless so it wouldn't have helped me any.)

Had the Korean Consulate's website not been a useless monstrosity of fluff, tiny text, Konglish, and animated everything, I would have also found out that I needed a copy of my transcript.

I will own up to bad planning, but I believe web designers should also own up to poor design. Hence my challenge:

If you can find, on this Korean consulate's website, a clear and concise list of the documents necessary for the E-2 (specifically where it explicitly mentions a college transcript), I will buy you dinner. Seriously. Should I lose, it will be a humbling experience for me, but it will also be extremely helpful for other people navigating this international job hunt process. Should I win, I get to feel really smug and slightly vindicated. Basically, there's no losers with this contest!

RULES FOR THE CONTEST

1. To qualify for the dinner, you must email me (should be on my blogger profile) a link to the page in question, as well as a description of the search path you used to find it. (As in: "The Immigration tab, and then the Visa bullet point..." etc.) If there is no search path description, it doesn't qualify. (This is to help me verify that you found it organically, and didn't get lucky with Google or knowledge of some direct link.)
   
2. It must be from the Korean consulate English website here: Korean consulate. Answers from recruiter's websites, Dave's, and assorted expats-in-Korea communities, while helpful, are not valid to win the dinner because the point is to prove how utterly useless Korean web design typically is. (However, the best of the helpful links will also be posted when I announce the winner, so others will still benefit from the fruits of your labor!) I will accept other websites if and only if the above Korean consulate links to them.
   
3. Contest ends July 31st in Korea. Americans, this means you're at a disadvantage. Sorry.
   
4. Please put "blog contest" in the title of the email, that way I can find it easily!
   
5. The search has to be conducted in English. First time teachers probably don't speak Korean and mine's way too awful to navigate a government webpage. Or any webpage.
   

RULES FOR THE PRIZE

1. The contest is open to anyone but I can only offer dinner compensation to people in or near Seoul—basically, if you are serviced by Seoul metro, I will hunt you down and buy you food.
   
2. Food offer is good for: gimbap holes-in-the-wall and sandwich shops; sit-down galbi, samgyeopsal, duck, hot-pot, barbecue, boshintang, gobchang gui, etc. joints. Or something Western. Or Indian or Uzbek or whatever tickles your fancy. Just some place you would be willing to pay for on your own. In other words, please don't try to bankrupt me. ^^ But the dinner bill will also include the drinks as well!
   
3. In lieu of buying you dinner due to geographical constraints, I will donate the dinner equivalent to a charity of your choice. Aww, warm fuzzies!
   
4. If more than one person submits a winning answer, the first answer received gets a dinner. Maybe other respondents will get some soju or cash money from me. I don't know. I'll decide later.

Go to! Winner—assuming there is one, between what I believe is the Herculean nature of the task and my absolutely non-existent readership—will be announced August 1.

Music Ed, Part Dugae

Tentative listening class playlist, a mix of music that I really like, music with lyrics they should be able to understand, and music (I think) they'll like:

1. If I Had A Million Dollars (BNL)
2. Let Me Go (Cake)
3. And When I Die (Blood Sweat & Tears)
4. Cat's in the Cradle (Harry Chapin)
5. Warning (Green Day)
6. Fight For Your Right to Party (Beastie Boys)
7. Hot 'n Cold (Katy Perry)
8. I Would Be (500 Miles) (The Proclaimers)
9. I Am Woman (Helen Reddy)
10. Should I Stay or Sohuld I go Now (The Clash)
11. This Is My Song (Carbon Leaf)
12. New York, New York (Frank Sinatra)
13. Bang Bang (My Baby Shot Me Down) (Nancy Sinatra)
14. Ordinary Day (Great Big Sea)
15. Johnny B. Goode (Chuck Berry)
16. Mystery Dance (Elvis Costello)
17. Seven Day Weekend (Elvis Costello)
18. Might Tell You Tonight (Scissor Sisters)
19. Ring Ring (Abba)
20. Some Postman (Presidents of the USA)
21. Jennifer's Jacket (Presidents of the USA)
22. Fix You (Coldplay)

What do you think, sirs?

Music Ed

What American/British/otherwise sung in English songs do you think would be good/accessible for beginners in Korean? I think my listening classes are really boring (and really easy!) and adding music would be fun for me AND for the kids.

I'm trying to think of stuff without complicated/obscure vocabulary and well-enunciated lyrics (so no Kurt Cobain or John Fogerty) but my mind's drawing a blank.

Early Birthday Present to Myself:

Say hello to "Bernice."

But help me out here—what kind of plant is this? My knowledge of horticulture is embarrassingly lacking.

I have:

Half of a gas range
a rice cooker
a toaster
no microwave
no oven

So do you know any good recipes I can work with, given my tiny kitchen? Already I've found:

Rice Cooker Bread
Rice Cooker Recipes

in addition to the self-evident things like fried eggs, French toast, pasta, noodles, and stir-fry.