North Korea

The Intercept has the best take I've read on the whole situation.

Analogue: A Hate Story (Or, Joseon Korea in Space!)

It seems that Korea and Koreans are represented pretty well in the indie game market. Dust: An Elysian Tail, by half-Korean developer Dean Dodrill, incorporates a number of Korean elements in the story and design and has sold over a million copies. On a smaller scale, the visual novel Analogue: A Hate Story from Love Conquers All Games is explicitly based on Korean history. In case the hanbok and Hangul on the box art didn't clue you in:

Image courtesy Raide and Love Conquers All Games

The idea is that you are some kind of cyberpunk data hunter. For this job, you've been tasked with fishing out information from a long-abandoned space colonizing vessel, the Mugunghwa, which was originally launched in some unknown year by the (obviously fictional) United Korea Space Federation.

Mugungwha at a grave site in Uijeongbu, South Korea

As you work with the computer's AI system and access the ship's logs from high-ranking passengers, the science fiction background quickly takes shape: Joseon Korea in space! A cool conceit, but I would have loved to see it explored more in depth. I appreciate that Love tried, however, and it's pretty obvious that she is deeply interested in the topic—the game is available in Korean as well as English, so it might be a fun way to get in some language practice? Even though Love isn't Korean, she obviously did her research (and very helpfully names it in the credits!). But there are Korean scholars out there who are better equipped than I am to comment on the accuracy of her portrayal. Anyway, on to the game itself!

During the job you interact with two different AIs, who show you different logs from the long-dead residents of the Mugunghwa. Those logs comprise the story of Analogue. There are also dating sim overtones, as your dialogue choices with the AIs determine if you leave the job with none, one, or both of them downloaded to your own computer. More importantly, your choices dictate which logs they decide to show you. The easiest way to "hack" the game is to remember to show every log to both AIs. (You can't talk to the AIs directly; the game's conceit is that you communicate by answering their yes/no questions and showing them log entries you want to know more about.)

There's also a small but significant element of the story that takes place in a faux-*nix command line, which tickles me to no end (as a Linux user myself). This is where the game's one and only puzzle comes up, and it's a bit of a doozy. I thought it was, anyway; I had to look up a solution online.

Analogue is generally pretty forgiving. You can't really die—I guess maybe only if you don't solve the puzzle you can, but that's it. Your choices aren't so critical, either. This isn't to say that none of them matter. If you're too rude to Hyun-ae (the main AI), or too disinterested in her, she'll disconnect and you'll lose the game. If you neglect to talk to the AIs (by showing them certain logs), you won't unlock all of the content, and you certainly won't be able to finish the game. But otherwise, you can't really lose.

As the story is presented achronistically (achronologically?), it's hard to tell what's happening at first. This is a point in the game's favor, as it makes repeated play-throughs more rewarding. I don't think I really understood things until I unlocked my third or fourth ending (out of seven total).

It's important to save! There comes a point in the story, maybe like halfway or two-thirds in, where you're railroaded into finishing the game with whatever AI you're engaging with at the moment; if you want to get the other AI's ending(s) and you haven't saved in good time, you'll have to start from the beginning.

Overall it's cute. I don't think it's quite as holy shit!! as some of the breathless reviews on the website make it out to be, but I think it's a mildly interesting story presented in a really clever and creative way. I would have loved to see more backstory and less dating sim, but maybe she tackles that in the sequel, Hate Plus.

Park Geun Hye's Downfall

Damn, y'all. What a time to not be in South Korea. This is the kind of thing I would have loved to talk about with my students, at least to hear their perspective.

When you're the first minority anything (or at least the first in an official capacity—black people were playing baseball before Jackie Robinson, and so on), the burden is on you to not fuck it up. Beyond that, the burden is on you to be unbelievably good at what you're doing. Twice as good for half the credit, as the expression goes.

As the US is on the brink of its first woman president (knock on wood, get out the vote, etc.), and as I left the country almost four years ago (where does the time go?!), it's a little shitty of me to sit high and mighty and talk about Korea's patriarchal society and its relationship with Park. From a distance, her presidency has looked a little troubled, but I don't know the details. But it's not the details I'm interested in at this point (or well, I am, but you know), but the ramifications.

The next woman to run for office in South Korea is going to have to contend with this shitshow. It doesn't matter which party she's in, or her career up to that point, or how long it's been—the pundits will all bring up Park Geun Hye. Whether it's a favorable or unfavorable comparison doesn't matter; thanks to this scandal, it'll be hard work to come out of the shadow of Park's legacy.

PSA

Wow, let me dust off the ol' K-blog for the first time in a long while!

I wish I were posting here again to relay some positive news—a vacation or even a new job in South Korea, a friend's new blog, some great news out of the peninsula—but that isn't the case.

I want to tell you about my friend Bob. Bob, a gay ex-Navy man, and his husband, Hoon. Both of them were some of the warmest, most open, most generous people I met while I was in Korea. This is out of an amazing group of coworkers and friends I managed to accrue—I honestly had a wonderful time in Korea due in large part to the fantastic people I met, Korean and foreigners alike, and even among those examples they stand out. (The "hell is other foreigners" tag notwithstanding; it's my default "other foreigners" tag and I wouldn't have much use for a new one.)

Bob is quite a few years older than most of my Korean and NEST contemporaries; the draw of retirement and the beginnings of failing health prompted him to leave the Korean ESL world after a solid decade in the field. Hoon was unable to come with him at the time, so he remained in Korea.

Unfortunately, Bob's been facing an uphill battle since coming back home. He is unable to work much these days (aforementioned failing health), but receives no additional disability support to supplement his $500 / month Social Security stipend. And it takes money to bring someone permanently overseas.

All of this is not helped by the fact that, during the entirety of Bob's tenure in South Korea, the Korean government did not recognize same-sex marriage (and continues to fight this losing cultural battle, even today); we all knew Hoon as Bob's husband and vice versa, but the title was nothing more than a social nicety. Likewise, national, federal-level same-sex marriage was not established in the US until after Bob had already moved home, so the US embassy couldn't have done much to help.

Would being legally-recognized partners help? I don't know, it might have. But that's water under the bridge.

I know the Internet is full of a lot of tales of woe, or ridiculous potato salad kickstarters, or anything else, but I can assure you that the couple involved with this are among the kindest and most generous people I've had the pleasure to meet. Do I understand entirely the reasoning or legality behind all of the obstacles, both American and South Korean? No. Hopefully it will actually be easier than this for them to be together; hopefully it won't take as much as Bob is expecting it to take. But do I think for a moment that this GoFundMe is a graft, a fraud, a pity party? No. Never in a thousand years. Bob was always the giving one: having dinners, thoughtful gifts, good advice, even job openings. He would never ask other people to give if he didn't have to.

If you have the means, please donate. If you have the audience, please signal boost. If you have the legal connections and advice, please get in touch.  These are two sweet people who deserve to be able to live out their lives together.

Andrei Lankov's AMA

Andrei Lankov had an AMA on reddit. I'm reading it right now; you should, too.

I just can't bear to let this little blog of mine completely go, I suppose.

Uijeongbu Time Capsule

Someone shared this photo in the Uijeongbu Crew Facebook group (which I can never bring myself to leave, ever):



Main street Uijeongbu, 1966.

Googling to find the original online (in case the Facebook image link ever breaks), I came across this page. It's mind-blowing how much Uijeongbu changed in nearly 50 years and how quickly.

http://www.qsl.net/wd4ngb/crc1a.htm

Now Uijeongbu looks like this:





If that photo up there is taken where I THINK It is, then these two right here are just a few blocks down from that location.



This fresh on the heels of news that the THC9, beloved downtown movie theater, has finally been crushed under the heel of the CGV that opened when they put in the Shinsegae right at Uijeongbu Station. And that one of my favorite places downtown, Birdland, has gone from a cool jazz club with regular performers who recognized me and my friends to "Birdland 7080," which means no more live jazz in Uijeongbu and probably yet another loud, obnoxious 7080 bar.

Nothing is permanent except change. But when you leave a place, you like to pretend that you're leaving it in a state of suspended animation. That the things you loved will continue on after you forever and in some way that part of your life will, too; that you can come back whenever you want to and it'll be like you never left.

Womp womp womp.

Self-Published Wacky Expat Shenanigans in South Korea Novels

I found something the other day that prompted me to crawl out of the woodwork, something I can best describe as the aborted fetus of a literary movement: the lost in Korea generation.

An overwhelming number of EFL teachers in South Korea end up writing blogs. Only natural: the majority of them are the first among their peer group to teach in Korea, and it's easier to share longform updates and photo essays via Wordpress or Blogger than it is via email or Facebook.  Plus, I think you'd find that many of them majored in English at university, to some extent—straight up English, or Creative Writing (guilty), or Journalism, and so on. I'd argue that crowd represents a disproportionately large number of EFL teachers in Korea. Not as many as Education, perhaps, but a close second.

Naturally, then, when you have people with a passion for words on what may be the biggest adventure of their lives, away from their friends and family for maybe the first time in their lives, a blog becomes a tempting, even an inevitable, step to take. Add a few words of encouragement in the comments, and you know what seems like an even better idea?

A novel. 

Full disclosure: I wouldn't have bothered digging these specimens up if I weren't up to tricks myself. I'm guilty of having literary aspirations, too. 

That's besides the point of this entry. I have some amount of high-falutin' critical literary thoughts on what a novel about teaching in South Korea should and shouldn't be, but that can come later. For now, I just want to float these links to self-published "wacky expat shenanigans in South Korea!" novels out into the world for your amusement, since they are pretty awful. If you want to write a novel about EFL teachers in South Korea, don't write one like these. Please.

Out of courtesy to the authors who, as far as I can Google, have moved on into careers unrelated to teaching English or creative writing, I won't include their names or links to their Facebook/LinkedIn profiles, all of which I was able to find rather easily. Which brings me to a piece of advice: when writing a book based on your own real life experiences, do yourself a favor and use a pen name. 

Prisoner of Wonderland...an ESL Misadventure

American English: A Teacher's Journey in Seoul, South Korea

English Toss on Planet Andong by Dave Franklin (exception made because he is a writer by trade)

Island of Fantasy: A Memoir of an English Teacher in South Korea

The granddaddy of all of these, though, is unusual in that it's mostly about being in jail: the infamous Brother One Cell by Cullen Thomas (who still seems to make bank on this book, so he gets named here, too). This one is maybe worth reading, but the reviews seem mixed, so it'll have to wait for a slow book day, after I've filled in the gaps of my English literature history.

Blog Rec

I've been meaning to come out of my semi-retirement to talk about all of the insanity going on back on the peninsula: traitorous legislators in the south, power consolidation in the north, it's all crazytown! But—more competent people than myself are talking about it, so I'll just remain quiet. (Though, an interesting theory I came across: Uncle Jang was executed for setting KJU up with an ex porn star, and also maybe sleeping with her himself. Enjoy that one.)

(Also, news sources are reporting that he was fed to wild dogs? Fucking really? God, American media is stupid.)

Anyway, I'm not talking about that. What IS bringing me out of my retirement is a new blog on Korean history, written by one of my friends back in Korea (I almost typed "back home" there). It's called Figures of Korean History, and while there's only one entry now, there will be more in the future. Subscribe now!

The Queen's Classroom: The Only K-Drama Worth Watching

Okay, maybe not entirely true, but never before has television moved me to tears. To tears!

I usually dislike television and that goes double for K-dramas. The last K-drama I tried to watch was 꽃보다 남자 (which just goes to show how often I could be roused to give a shit), and I couldn't even finish. 여왕의 교실, though, I would marathon until the wee hours of the morning. Here is what is good about it:

1. The kid actors actually look like real people instead of Botox'd and plastic surgery'd automatons.

2. The kid actors also aren't awful and awkward in their acting (but maybe I couldn't tell because I was too busy reading subtitles).

3. The kid characters are well-developed and a lot like actual kids. Anyone who's been in the kiddie hagwon business will recognize a few of their own students in the show. I know I did.

4. Satisfying character arcs for everyone, kids as well as adults.

All 16 episodes are available (with subtitles) here:

http://www.viki.com/tv/11843c-the-queens-classroom

Rep. Lee Seok-ki (UPP) to be arrested for conspiracy, treason.

Parliament to handle arrest request for Rep. Lee Seok-ki next week. From the article:

Lee and some members of the Unified Progressive Party (UPP) have been accused by the National Intelligence Service (NIS) of planning an armed revolt if war breaks out with North Korea. The country's spy agency said the people under investigation hatched a plot to attack key infrastructure in the South to aid the North if conflict occurs.

I haven't seen this story surface in any of the blogs I still read or in any news; I guess because Syria is the big international story at the moment. One of my buddies back in Korea has been feeding me the story piecemeal. This shit is bananas, B-A-N-A-N-A-S.

When Worlds Collide

I love and miss you all. Have a weird news story involving a South Korean serviceman and a nearby high school. Apparently this went down while I was still in SK, but they didn't crack the case until now.

For reference, this (Hackettstown) is about 50 minutes away from my house. It's only 20 minutes away from one of my good college friends.
http://www.nj.com/warrenreporter/index.ssf/2013/07/man_who_called_from_south_kore.html

For the link phobic:

HACKETTSTOWN, NJ — Online chat rooms appear to be the link between a 19-year-old serving in the South Korean military and phone calls that led to the lockdown of four Hackettstown schools in 2012. 

Warren County Prosecutor Richard Burke and Hackettstown Police explained in a press conference today how Dae Woong Lee, a 19-year-old serving in the South Korean military, was charged in his country for a call threatening Hackettstown High School students that led to the lockdown on March, 26, 2012. 

Dae Woong Lee made two phone calls to the Warren County 911 Center, indicating he was in possession of an AK-47 in the woods behind Hackettstown High School, officials said. 

Lee spoke with the 911 dispatcher for an hour, threatening to kill students including one particular girl who Burke said Lee was previously communicating with in online chat rooms. 

The Procecutor's Office would not specify which website chat room was used to make contact. Burke indicated that it was not Facebook, but another form of social media.
Hackettstown High School, Hackettstown Middle School, Hatchery Hill School, Willow Grove School, St Mary’s school and Centenary College were placed on lockdown after Hackettstown Police responded, secured the area and contacted the Warren County Tactical Team. 

Law enforcement eventually determined there was no imminent threat to students, and the lockdown was lifted. 

"This is why we take these drills seriously," said Hackettstown High School Superintendent David Mango. "There is no incident that you can ever be fully prepared for." 

According to Principal Roy Huchel, the lockdown lasted for more than three hours and involved 955 students. He said that after the incident, the school's Child Study Team and guidance counselors were made available to students to discuss the emotional toll of the event. 

During the call to the 911 center, Lee identified himself as Kevin McGowan, 19, and spoke to the dispatcher about his girlfriend, his broken heart and rap songs he liked.
"We're not going to allow threats to our community and children to go unpunished," Burke said. "We could have walked away (from the investigation), but we're not going to do that; we're not going to tolerate this in Warren County," he said. 

Authorities were not immediately able to trace the call because it was made from a voice-over-IP address app that masks the phone number and makes it harder to trace, according to the Warren County 911 Center. 

This information was relayed to the Prosecutor's Office, which sought assistance from the N.J. State Police Electronic Surveillance Unit and the Attorney General's Office's Division of Criminal Justice and Electronic Surveillance Unit. 

Burke said that the 15-month "manpower intensive" investigation involved leads outside of New Jersey. 

"There were a lot of leads and one of them was in Wisconsin," Burke said. "There was a lot of investigation and a lot of man hours." 

They then acquired assistance from Middle Atlantic-Great Lakes Oraganized Crime Law Enforcement Network, the U.S. Marshall Service, U.S. Department of Homeland Security, the FBI and the U.S. Attorney's Office. 

"It was determined that the target of the investigation was outside of the United States, and specifically located in South Korea," Burke said. "Without the coordination of all efforts this was not possible." 

Homeland Security continued the investigation along with the Seoul Metropolitan Police Agency, which was able to locate and interview Lee on Jan. 27. 

On Monday, June 3, Lee was charged with obstruction of business in Korea and faces up to five years in prison and a fine up to the equivalent of $15,000. 

Burke said Lee is currently not in jail, and will remain serving in the South Korean military until the matter is resolved. 

"We have no intention of extraditing," Burke said, adding that the punishment is equivalent in the United States and the costs to extradite would be large. He added that he believes "their process is quicker than ours." 

Warren County Freeholder Director Jason Sarnoski concluded the press conference by congratulating everyone involved for their hard work. 

"There is no such thing as a small county or a small town anymore. We live in a global society," he said, "and we can be affected by anyone. We need to be constantly alert." 

Michael McDonald, first assistant prosecutor for Warren County, hopes that resolving this will deter others from making threats in the future. 

"There is no way to know if a person is serious," McDonald said in an interview after the conference. "It scares you what's out there on the internet."

Gentleman, Or: PSY Trolls Everyone

The video for PSY's new single is hilarious, and the song is damn catchy. It definitely made me a bit homesick for the sketchy bar districts in Seoul, even if I have decided I'm officially too old for that shit.

For those of you who want the Korean lyrics to this new earworm, here they are (courtesy of jumpersjump). It took me longer than it should have to find proper Hangul lyrics instead of awful romanized crap, so I'm doing my part to signal boost:

젠틀맨

알랑가몰라 왜 화끈해야 하는건지

 알랑가몰라 왜 말끔해야 하는건지

 알랑가몰라 아리까리하면 까리해

 알랑가몰라 We Like We We We Like Party 해 ~

 있잖아 말이야

 이사람으로 말씀드리자면 말이야

 용기 패기 똘끼 멋쟁이 말이야

 너가 듣고픈말 하고픈게 난데 말이야

 Damn! Girl! You so freakin sexy!

 Ah Ah Ah Ah~ I’m a…

 Ah Ah Ah Ah~ I’m a…

 Ah Ah Ah Ah~ I’m a mother father gentleman

 I’m a…

 Ah I’m a

 I'm a mother father gentleman

 I’m a…

 Ah I’m a

 I’m a mother father gentleman

 알랑가몰라 왜 미끈해야하는건지

 알랑가몰라 왜 쌔끈해야하는건지

 알랑가몰라 달링 빨리와서 난리해

 알랑가몰라 난리난리 났어 빨리해

 있잖아 말이야

 너의 머리 허리 다리 종아리 말이야

 Good! feeling feeling? Good! 부드럽게 말이야

 아주 그냥 헉소리나게 악소리 나게 말이야

 Damn! Girl! I’m a party mafia!

 Ah Ah Ah Ah~ I’m a…

 Ah Ah Ah Ah~ I’m a…

 Ah Ah Ah Ah~ I’m a mother father gentleman

 I’m a…

 Ah I’m a

 I’m a mother father gentleman

 I’m a…

 Ah I’m a

 I’m a mother father gentleman

 Gonna make you sweat.

 Gonna make you wet.

 You know who I am~ Wet PSY!

 Gonna make you sweat.

 Gonna make you wet.

 You know who I am~ Wet PSY!

Wet PSY! Wet PSY! Wet PSY! PSY! PSY! PSY!

 Ah I’m a mother father gentleman

 I’m a…

 Ah I’m a

 I’m a mother father gentleman

 I’m a…

 Ah I’m a

 I’m a mother father gentleman

 Mother father gentleman

 Mother father gentleman

More Koreaboo Pique

Roboseyo breaks his blogging silence for a rational and sane discussion on the situation in North Korea.

Also, The Korean translated North Korean defector Joo Seong-ha's article on North Korea's "hacker army."

Some thoughts on the situation on the peninsula by another defector. In other words, the only time I'll ever link to CNN with a straight face.

And finally, Anonymous done goofed.

I'm still sitting on some student profiles; I've just been busy working a job and a half. I hope everyone enjoyed their semi-annual candy binge!

A Fit of Koreaboo Pique

American news reporting on North Korea continues to astound me, and I mean that in the least generous way possible. Maybe in another life I would have been an international correspondent or writer covering the situation on the Korean peninsula, but—oh well. Despite the fact that I am probably preaching to the choir, I am still irritated enough that I feel compelled to provide you, dear faithful blog reader/Internet searcher who has stumbled across my blog/family member, with the means to educate yourselves if you so please! Here are Internet things dealing with the Koreas that I like:

• Ask A Korean! - This is the best English language blog on South Korea, for fairly obvious reasons. (Those reasons are: it's written by a Korean who writes well.) If you are an expat blogger you probably follow him already (and if you don't, you should). While The Korean currently resides in Virginia, he keeps abreast of news and I see stories on his blog that I don't see anywhere else in English. He's also written a few well-researched and extensive series on assorted issues in South Korea: the presidents, the suicide rate, the financial crisis, etc.
  
  The downside is that The Korean is a lawyer, so he can get called away from blogging for long periods of time. He also is a bit of a food and language snob, so once in a while there are rants about the purity of Korean food or language or whatever that makes me roll my eyes, but he seems to know that he's being irrational.
  
  For those of you that care, The Korean also does not apologize or care about being flamingly, staunchly liberal.
  
  If you are at all curious about Korea, this is the blog to add to your feed.

• NK News - I don't follow this one but I read it occasionally. Any article here will certainly provide more depth and insight than most American news programs.

• Daily NK - What makes this news site exceptional is that it's run by North Korean defectors who still have ties back home. The result is not only real information instead of meaningless echo chamber speculation, but a more nuanced look into the country beyond the international image of  one crazy (or corrupt, or both) leader and a vague notion of hungry citizens. If you follow nothing else from this list, follow this one. The link here is to their English page; they publish in Korean, Chinese, and Japanese as well.

• Justice for North Korea - The Facebook page for the charity my friend Breda works at. She's a grad student in international relations at Korea University, with a focus on North Korea and reunification, so Breda is not a stupid ignorant American when it comes to the issues. She (and maybe some of the other JFNK volunteers) maintain the Facebook page and regularly post links to assorted articles that are usually insightful and nuanced interpretations of events. (I say "usually" only because I will skim past articles now and then and not read them, so I can't vouch for EVERY SINGLE THING posted.) It's always in English, no worries.

• Despite recent shenanigans with Dennis Rodman and the Harlem Globetrotters (I'm still undecided on if that was good, bad, both, or neither), VICE magazine has a few (mostly) good series on North Korea:
  
  The original VICE Guide to North Korea
  
  The North Korean Logging Camps
  
  The North Korean Movie Industry
  
  Sometimes it kind of becomes more of a "check out this insane country" rubber-necking spectacle than actual journalism, but not so bad it's distracting or obnoxious or whatever.

Also there are some books that are good. Here are ones that I like:

• Under the Loving Care of the Fatherly Leader - It is definitely a bit outdated (last updated in 2010), but holy shit this tome on North Korea is fairly exhaustive and great and I will definitely be re-reading it in the near future to re-absorb things I missed the first time.

• Korea's Place in the Sun - Bruce Cumings is basically the senior White Expat Expert on Korea, though not without controversy. This book was banned in South Korea for a while (I think by Chun Doo-hwan?) and at least one other Korean specialist has accused him of being a North Korean apologist, so there you go. I haven't read this one, but I did read his history of the Korean war, which I felt was very thorough and as impartial as possible.

• This is Paradise! My North Korean Childhood - This one is a short, easy read that sometimes suffers from language clunkiness (translated from Korean to French to English, as I recall) but is invaluable as a firsthand account of living in North Korea written by a North Korean. It's not Escape From Camp 14 which I can't bring myself to read, despite my interest in North Korea, because I KNOW it'll be depressing. If you feel the same way, this one is a good substitute.

Happy Pi Day! And to my friends still in Korea, happy white day!

Multimedia Monday: Big Buck Bunny

My boyfriend just made me aware of this very cute open source animated short. I regret that he didn't show me earlier because I'm sure my kids would have loved it! So I'm sharing it now, in case it may be useful for my teacher friends who are still teaching.




You could use it for so much! Season vocabulary (since it's obviously springtime), animals, simple past, sequencing, and descriptions, just to name a few.

For other videos I've found, check the Multimedia Monday tag. If you don't have Internet access in your classroom (but you DO have a computer), I recommend using YouTubeDownloaderHD to save the movies to a thumb drive.

Satire: Korea, Ben Folds, and Asian Americans

Oh hey, I'm still here. I've been meaning to do some student profiles, before they slip out of my memory (I had so many good kids at my last hagwon), but I guess I can't bring myself to do it.

What I CAN bring myself to do, though, is bitter, incompetent parody. I started working on this—a parody of Rockin' the Suburbs changed to reflect some of the worst foreigners I ever met in Korea—a couple years ago and, inspired by Douglas Kim's "I'm Asian American," decided to finish it today. First, enjoy Kim's version, because it's great:



That said, here's my own Rockin' the Suburbs parody. It'd be my dream if someone recorded this. Maybe I'll record it myself when I have the time. (Hah! Fat chance.)

Rockin' Korea
(White Whine Anthem)
With apologies to Ben Folds


Let me tell y'all what it's like
Being male, middle class, and white.
Despite my privileges I still believe
I'm an oppressed minority.
Sham on!

I got shit posted on my blog
It's so hip, please follow along
While I drink in Itaewon
And sing Journey in the noraebang.

I'm rockin' Korea,
Just like Doug MacArthur did.
I'm rockin' Korea;
Only care when it's me that's exploited.
I'm rockin' Korea!
Cash the checks and drink the booze.
After all, I'm not Korean, why should I follow all their rules?


I'm pissed off, it's because I'm white
That people push on the subway line.
Ajosshis, you make me so uptight
Gonna rant in the bar tonight.
All I do is piss and moan
But never, ever go back home.

I'm rockin' in Korea,
Just like Bella Bishop did.
I'm rockin' Korea;
Only care when it's me that's exploited.
I'm rockin' Korea!
Cash the check and drink the booze.
After all, I'm not Korean, why should I follow all their rules?

In a haze today,
What the fuck did I do last night?
I can feel that something's not right
I can feel that someone's next to me
in bed! I'm dead,
I don't want a K-girlfriend!
'Cause all the guys who post on Dave's place
Have well assured me that Korean girls are cray.
It wasn't my idea,
It wasn't my idea,
It never was my idea.
I just went to Hongdae
For some soju stress relief.

Ya'll don't know what it's like
Being male, middle class and white.

Y'all don't know what it's like,
being male, middle class, and white.

Y'all don't know what it's like,
being male, middle class and white.

Y'all don't know what it's like,
being male, middle class, and white.

It gets me real pissed off and it makes me wanna say
It gets me real pissed off and it makes me wanna say
It gets me real pissed off and it makes me wanna say

씨 발~~~~!


Just like Alan Alda did.
I'm rockin' Korea;
Only care when it's me that's exploited.
I'm rockin' Korea,
Cash the checks and drink the booze.
After all, I'm not Korean, why should I follow all their rules?
Fuck this place~

Yeah, yeah!

I'm rockin' Korea,
yeah, yeah!

I'm rockin' Korea,
yeah, yeah!

You better watch out, because I'm gonna say 씨 발.
You better watch out, because I'm gonna say 씨 발.
You better watch out, because I'm gonna say 씨 발.
You better watch out, because I'm gonna say 씨 발.

Uijeongbu Pension Nonsense

For posterity, allow me to document my experience with the Uijeongbu Pension Office.

It went about as smoothly as the Internet would indicate; however, either there's been a slight rules change or the official I talked to was a jerk. When I went, the clerk refused to take any of my bank information (SWFT code, address, account number) from me. She would only take it from a receipt from the bank...even though the bank receipt would be based on the same information she wouldn't accept from me. Uh, what?

She also refused to just let me cash it out; I could either wire it home, wire it to a Korean account, or set up a new bank account in the bank downstairs and transfer it there.

So I just sucked it up, went to the bank to send my money home, and came back with the bank receipt, and it was all good.

And icing on the bad service cake: despite working at the FOR FOREIGNERS desk, seeing my American passport, and hearing me fail miserably at Korean (stress + my crappy Korean = crappier Korean), she didn't use English with me at all until I broke down and gave a sad, "I don't know, I just need to send this money home," in English. And then perfectly fluent English. What.

It was not a pleasant experience at all, but I suspect it was mostly due to this particular government worker being kind of a bitch.

WHAT YOU NEED FOR THE UIJEONGBU PENSION OFFICE
(as of 11/2012)

• Passport
• ARC
• Proof of leaving (printed flight itinerary works just fine)
• Receipt from a wire transfer at your bank with: SWFT code, bank name, bank address, account number, and bank branch number

HOW TO FIND THE UIJEONGBU PENSION OFFICE

From the new Uijeongbu Station/Shinsegae department store, take exit 2, towards City Hall. Go past the building with the THC 9 theater. Cross the street; "Wedding Palace" will be on your left. The Uijeongbu Pension Office is in the next building, "Samseong Sang Myeong." (NB: The name is only in Hangul: 삼성생명 or something similar.) Don't make any turns at all once you leave the station, just make a beeline out of exit 2. The Pension Office is on the second floor; you can take the elevators dead ahead or take the curving staircase to your left.

On Saying Goodbyes: Foreign vs Korean

As I leave the country on Friday(!!), I've been saying goodbye to a lot of people. I've never been very good at goodbyes, in that I am kind of resistant to any kind huge change at all ever, so it's been rough (but I'm glad I took a month off to do it). There is definitely a different attitude, on my end, between saying goodbye to my other foreign friends and to my Korean friends.

My foreign friends here are all ~*~free spirits~*~, as in they put stock in traveling and seeing the world and so forth. They know there's a couch in Stockholm for them; it's not goodbye, it's see you later, as the saying goes.

My Korean friends, though, are mostly of an age where that traveling is more or less behind them. They have already traveled and done all of that and now it's time to find a career. Either that or they're of the aggressive and ambitious type who intend to get into a career as soon as they can; forget taking time off to travel. Those goodbyes are goodbyes. They sting. And while I intend to come back to Korea, who knows if I will. Who knows if time won't diminish our friendships.

I've been singing a lot of this recently. It definitely makes it on to my "Korea: Round Two" soundtrack. It keeps me sane to insist to myself that we will meet again.

Birdland Incident

There's a jazz club in downtown Uijeongbu. I had walked by it loads of times but never screwed up the nerve to go in until I had scant few months remaining in Korea. We all make mistakes; this was one I wish I hadn't made. I will miss it dearly when I leave.

I went last night with a few friends, two guys and one other girl. The guys and I are somewhat regulars, and in a country full of Koreans it's pretty easy to remember the weiguk sarams that keep coming back. The musicians always chat with us a bit, or say hello if they see us on the street. The girl with us, on the other hand, had never been before.

At the end of the night, I complimented the singer on her rendition of "Fever," a song I had requested a few months ago but that they didn't have.

"Thank you, I did it for you!"

Which warmed my heart.

Then she turned to the other girl. "You, I think you must be a good singer. Your face is so beautiful!"

Heart dimmed, just a bit.

Glorious Vacation: Day 4

Day 4 was Friday, which was when I was leaving Gwangju to see a friend in Busan. I had to do at least one May 18th related thing while I was in Gwangju (see my reason for choosing to visit it at all), so I decided the best one would be the May 18th National Cemetery.  I kind of wish I had done something for the April 19th protest as well, but truth be told there wasn't that much.

The bus that goes to the cemetery (and the surrounding cemeteries where I think other victims of the May 18th massacre are buried) is the number 518. 518. 5/18. I SEE WHAT YOU DID THERE.

I totally spaced out on the bus and accidentally rode it to the end of the line, which is an old folks' home.

Putting the old folks' home next to a shit load of cemeteries? Really?

Anyway, I had an awkward little moment where I got out of the bus, sat at the bus stop and read for a few minutes, then got back on the same bus with the same driver, but whatever. Fortunately I hadn't overshot the cemetery by nearly as much as I thought I had, so it was all good.

I kind of lost it at the cemetery, y'all. Maybe it's because I'm a big baby, but it was an awfully sobering couple hours. I've been to war memorials before (trips to Washington, D.C. much?) which are in the same vein, but none of them have been as serious and real to me as this. Everyone who died in the May 18th massacre were civilians, or students (at least, everyone buried in this cemetery; I don't think the police officers or paratroopers who died are buried in this cemetery), which to me makes it entirely different. Soldiers are expected (sadly) to die; students are not. Especially not at the hands of their own government. Plus, so many of them would be my parents' age, about, if they had survived: all of these people would have been someone's father or mother, if things had been different. They could have been the parents of someone who would have been my friend. Not to mention even younger casualties: small children inadvertently caught in the crossfire.




In case it's hard to read:

Here in the National Cemetery for the May 18th Democratic Uprising lie the meritorious persons who fought and sacrificed themselves during the Gwangju Uprising of 1980 and those laudable victims who died in the aftermath of the physical or mental injuries they sustained.

The bodies of the victims were carried in garbage trucks and carts and  buried without official reognition in the Old May 18 Cemetery (the 3rd graveyard of the Municipal Cemetery).

With the completion of a 3-year conservation project (1994-1997), all bodies were moved and reburied together in this new cemetery. In accordance with the Act on the Honorable Treatment for Meritorious Persons of the May 18th Uprising, this cemetery, which had been managed by the Gwangju Municipal Administration, was promoted and renamed as the National Cemetery for the May 18th Democratic Uprising on July 27, 2002 by the Korean state.

This cemetery will function as an education center, promoting the conviction that injustice and dictatorship should never return to this country, so that the spirit of the May 18th may be engraved on the hearts of all people making this a sacred place for democracy forever.

Beyond  the "gate" is the cemetery proper.

English translation:

Oh, Gwangju! The Cross of Our Nation! by Kim Jun-tae

Oh, Gwangju! Mudeung Mountain!
Our city of eternal youth
that sheds blood tears
between deaths!

Where has our father gone?
Where has our mother collapsed?
Where has our Son died and been buried?
And, where does our Daughter lie dead,  her mouth gaping?
Where have our soul and spirit
gone, torn and broken into pieces?

Gwangju, which both God and birds have left!
Our blood-covered city
where decent people
are still alive, morning and evening,
collapsing, falling down, and rising again!
Ah, the phoenix, the phoenix, the phoenix
of the South Province full of wailing
that has tried to drive away death with death,
and to seek life with death!

When the sun and the moon nosedive
and all the mountain ridges
stand shamelessly high,
ah, the flag of liberty
that nobody can tear down
or take away!
The flag of humanity!
The flag, hardened with flesh and bones!

Oh, our city
where at times our songs, dreams, and love
roll like waves,
and at other times we are hidden in graves.
Oh, Gwangju, Gwangju
who carries the cross of this nation,
climbing over Mudeung Mountain,
and walks over the hill of Golgotha!
Oh, the son of God,
whose whole body is covered with wounds,
and who is the emblem of death!

Are we really quite dead?
Dead,
unable to love this country any more,
unable to love our children any more?
Are we absolutely dead?

On Chungjangro, on Kumnamro,
At Hwajungdong, at Sansoodong, at Yongbongdong
At Jisandong, at Yangdong, at Kyerimdong,
And, and, and . . . .
Ah, the wind that blows over,
gobbling up our blood and flesh!
The hopeless flow of time!

Should we now
just collapse, fall, and cry?
Terrified of life, how should we
breathe a breath?

Oh, all those survive
lower their heads like sinners.
All those still alive have lost
spirit, and they find it difficult
even to face their rice bowls.
Afraid, they don’t know what to do.

(Dear, I was killed
while I was waiting for you,
waiting for you outside the door.
Why did they take away my life?
Though we lived in a rented room,
we were quite happy.
I wanted to live, loving you.
Oh, my dear!
But I was killed like this,
pregnant with a child of yours.
I am sorry, my dear!
They took away my life from me,
and I took away everything of yours,
your youth, your love,
your son, and all.
Oh, my dear! In the end,
did I kill you?)

Oh, Gwangju! Mudeung Mountain!
Our city of eternal youth
who breaks through deaths
and flutters the ends of white clothes!
The phoenix, the phoenix, the phoenix!
The son of God of this nation
who climbs up the hill of Golgotha again,
carrying the cross of this nation!

Jesus is said to have died once
and been resurrected,
and to live till this day or rather forever.
But our true love
that would die hundreds of deaths
and yet resurrects itself hundreds of times!
Our light, glory, and pain.
Now we will be revived ever more.
Now we become ever stronger.
Now we – ever more.

Oh, now we,
putting our shoulders to shoulders, bones to bones,
climb the Mudeung Mountain of this nation.
Oh, we rise up to the oddly blue sky
to kiss the sun and the moon.

Gwangju! Mudeung Mountain!
Oh, our eternal flag!
Our dream, our cross!
The city of youth that will get younger
as time goes by!
Now we are firmly united,
surely and surely,
we hold each other’s hands tight
and rise up.

To the one side there was an indoor photo memorial, with photos of everyone interred and either white or yellow artificial flowers. To the other was a "tree memorial," a rather nice, bright contrast to the dark and serious photo memorial. It's basically a nicely-manicured garden.

On the same side as the tree memorial was the May 18th museum, one of the more modern museums I've seen in Korea. Since the cemetery was dedicated in the early 2000s, its modernity makes sense. I would have gotten more out of it if my Korean weren't terrible, as they had short documentaries playing at every exhibit, but I did absorb as much of the English signage as I could. (I have to say, I don't think I could stomach an old school Korean version of a May 18th museum: those would be the bloodiest, most upsetting dioramas of all time.)

The one that stuck with me the most, for whatever reason, was a very small display containing wrist watches. These were the old fashioned kind that needed to be rewound, and since their owners were shot, no one rewound them after May 1980.

The whole time I only saw a handful of other people, which made everything even more serious, somehow; loads of families and shrieking kids would have taken away from the atmosphere.

That was the entirety of my day; after this I had a couple hours on buses before I got to my next destination: Kimhae/Busan.